Everything's Coming Up Millhouse

from Last Place by Must Build Jacuzzi

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5th floor of a parking deck on a cold November looking out to a city that’s so grey wondering what’s
cloudier, is it the sky, or is it me?
2017 left a hole in me and I’ve tried to patch it up. But I still feel just as empty. The rest is probably lying somewhere in Southern Illinois. I wish that sometimes I could tune myself out and see life with open eyes. But if time heals all wounds, then tell my why am I still
(Chorus) You can find me lying face up on my bed with the windows down and my blankets sprawled out all over the floor, and if there’s a chance for me to pull myself together, I don’t know if I would.
I still remember when I came home, when I came home to a low lit dormatory with the light bulb blinking in and out. I still remember when I had my head buried in my hands asking God why me.
I put my faith in things unseen, and I still believe. But this weight it drags me down and leaves me broken in last place.
We all fall into a state of passiveness. I just want to be strong and leave my doubts to rest.
(Bridge) But these winter skies are getting colder. I don’t know if I could go outside again. Each and every year we’re getting older, so then I’d rather live my life instead. I’ve spent too long thinking about what if and what should have been. The people in my life might start to see a different side of me.
I’m sick of running from the things I fear. I’m never perfect, but I know that this year...(I’ll be stronger moving onward. I won’t back down this time) I feel alive.


from Last Place, released April 27, 2018


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